I was doing great. Until the holidays. And the China trip. And the weddings. And the food and beverage demon infestation.
I had dropped off nearly a quarter of my former self in nine months, was riding a hundred miles a week or more, getting fitter and faster, eating sensibly and so forth. And then, Bam! Christmas hit. Then three weeks in Asia and numerous family celebrations. And the demons, of course. Always those damned demons. “Food and wine! Food and wine!” they sing in my head.
My nascent sveltitude gave way to my personal net worth becoming once again gross, having grown by a dozen kilo. Bulgo McLardfat.
Daily road rides were replaced with huge slabs of Delmonico and big Barolos at Bistecca Italian Steak House in Lan Kwai Fung in Hong Kong.
In Ho Chi Minh City, we ate twelve courses of the lovely, French-inspired Vietnamese fare at Hoi An.
In Beijing and Shanghai, it was Hunan and Sichuan. Lots of it. Usually with a hearty Italian red, or two.
And what, indeed do you call a vodka tonic with four shots? A “Double Double”? A “Quad Vod”?
While I previously and wisely eschewed any baked goods, I became King Sandwich: P B & J, egg salad, butter and onions. I hit Moe’s at least a half dozen times for toasted salt bagel with a schmear. Weekend afternoons were dominated by bowls of popcorn with a half cube of Plugra butter, as I watched pro cycling on the TeeVee.
And then I made the decision. Time to get my lazy ass back on the Roubaix. The season is here! Hit the road. Take off the feed bag!
But then, alas, it was not to be. Oscar Blues opened a new burger joint in Longmont. Instead of riding, I ate lunch there five times in two weeks. I had a duty. I had to turn others on to the best burgers in town.
Chuburger sits on the east side of Ken Pratt, just a couple blocks north of Nelson Road. The featured item, of course, is their Chuburger: Locally raised (on Oscar Blues’ very own Hops ‘n’ Heifers farm) all natural, grass fed Black Angus beef, and the traditional cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion and pickle trimmins’. Perfection. You can mess with the additions to your hearts’ contentment. Make it a meal for $8.95 with their delicious hand-cut fries and a drink, dispensed from the most Star Wars soda pumper I’ve ever seen.
Alternatively, opt for their Omega Burger: Wild caught salmon with honey wheat bun, Greek yogurt tartar sauce, tomato, lettuce and pickle.
Or, try it in pork (the “Berk”): Berkshire pork, bacon, blue cheese butter and balsamic grilled onions. Highly alliterative! Or local bison, with avocado, bacon and chipotle ranch dressing. Tatonka!
Don’t forget the Dale’s brews on tap, and the handmade shakes, to add to your overall caloric intake.
But best of all, do please try the fries and rings. Mama’s Beer Battered Onion Rings may cause atrial fibrillation, but they are the best I have ever tasted. And the Mile High fries, with shoshito peppers, Double H Ranch green chili, shredded cheddar cheese and, hmmm, what could be missing from this concoction? Bacon!
There are many good hamburgers in our little town. Fresh from California thirteen years ago, I easily let go my In and Out bias for the tasties at the Walnut or West End or The Hungry Toad. Lately, Smashburger earned our loyalty. An entire question between Sandy and I can be expressed in one word: “Smash?” And the answer was always yes.
But Chuburger and the vision of Oscar Blues and Dale’s have upped the ante and given me a new option for avoiding road rash. Give it a try and let us know what you think!